Early one morning， Donna received a phone call with some terrible news： her best friend's brother had been killed in a car accident. Donna had known this friend， Mary， and her brother nearly her entire life， and the news was devastating. However， Donna quickly pulled herself together， got in the car， and drove to her friend's house to be there with her.
Over the course of the next few days， amidst the haze of the funeral and hundreds of visitors， Donna was 100 percent present for Mary. She held her close while she cried endless tears， sat by her side as the waves of grief washed over her friend， and slept on the floor next to Mary's bed to make sure she did not wake up alone in the middle of the night. During that time she hardly felt any pain in her knee at all and none of the depression she had been experiencing.
Several weeks later， when life began to return to normal， Donna realized that the level of support she had given Mary far exceeded any support she had offered herself during her dark time. She was able to use the support she had given her friend as a mirror for the support she had been withholding from herself. She realized that her own tears required as much attention and nurturing from her as anyone else's， and that if she could give it to another， she must be able to also give it to herself...
So， when you find yourself unable to support someone else， look within and see if perhaps there is something within yourself that you are not supporting. Conversely， when you give complete support to others， it will mirror those places within you that require the same level of attention.
傳播光明的方法有兩種：要麽做一根蠟燭，要麽做一麵鏡子去反射它的光芒。
——沃頓
他人身處困境時，你主動幫他渡過難關，你就是在支持他。或許你不會想到，你幫助他人的同時，也是在幫你自己。拒絕對他人施以援手，其實也是拒絕幫助自己。
朋友之間最需要相互支持。前幾天，我的一位熟人唐娜給我講述了一個故事，故事清楚地闡明了支持的魔力及其作為情感之鏡的潛在效應。
幾年前，唐娜一度委靡不振。那時，她和相戀兩年的男朋友剛剛分手，這讓她難以承受。接著，她又因膝蓋受傷臥床數日，當然，孤獨在家的日子，對她的身心毫無益處。她無法控製這種局麵，因而痛苦不堪，整天懊惱、傷心、淚流滿麵。
一天清晨，唐娜接到她最好的朋友瑪麗的一個電話，瑪麗的弟弟在一場車禍中死去了。這一噩耗讓唐娜悲慟萬分。要知道，唐娜與他們有著多年的交情，算得上是一輩子的朋友。唐娜很快振作起來，立刻驅車前往瑪麗家陪她。
出事後的幾天裏，在張羅瑪麗弟弟的葬禮和接待吊唁者期間，唐娜總是陪在瑪麗身旁，寸步不離。瑪麗痛不欲生時，唐娜緊摟著她；瑪麗悲傷萬分、痛苦不堪時，唐娜給她以慰藉；為了不讓瑪麗在半夜驚醒後獨自黯然神傷，唐娜就睡在她床邊的地板上。那段時間裏，唐娜全然忘記了膝蓋的疼痛，心中的傷痛也沉寂下來。
之後幾周，一切都回歸常態。這時，唐娜才意識到，在這段陰暗的日子，她給予朋友的支持遠多於給自己的，她幾乎沒有主動幫自己擺脫困境。她覺得自己同樣也需要他人的關愛與支持。並且，她能給別人關愛和支持，就一定能給自己。
所以，當你發現自己無法給予他人關懷時，仔細審視自己吧，看自己是否有某些地方拒絕得到支持。反過來，如果你能全心全意地關懷他人，你就會發現，這些地方你也同樣需要關愛。
愛是需要相互傳遞的。隻有在別人身處困境時，你慷慨地付出愛，在你身處困境時，才可能及時得到愛，而不管這愛來自蠟燭本身，還是鏡子反射的燭光，都足以使你安然度過那段煎熬歲月。
illustrate ['ilstreit] v. 說明；闡明；表明
We use illustrations to illustrate this problem.
我們使用圖解來說明問題。
potential [p'tenl] adj. 潛在的；有可能的
Before implementing this sale project， we must be sure the
potential of the market.
在實施此項銷售計劃之前，我們必須先試探一下目標市場的潛力。
compound ['kmpaund] v. 使混合；使嚴重；使惡化；使加重
The heavy rain compounded the trouble of the lost hikers.
大雨增加了迷路的徒步旅行者們的困難。
devastating ['devsteiti] adj. 毀滅性的；令人震驚的
Their impact on the indigenous population was devastating.
他們給土著居民帶來毀壞性影響。
或許你不會想到，你幫助他人的同時，也是在幫你自己。
當你發現自己無法給予他人關懷時，仔細審視自己吧，看自己是否有某些地方拒絕得到支持。
反過來，如果你能全心全意地關懷他人，你就會發現，這些地方你也同樣需要關愛。
She had just broken up with her boyfriend of two years.
break up with：跟……分手；與……斷絕關係
Several weeks later， when life began to return to normal.
return to normal：恢複正常
痛苦伴隨你成長
Pain and Growth
佚名 / Anonymous
Looking back over my life， it seems to me that I have learned the most when I felt the greatest pain. My mother' s death， for example， made me more profoundly aware of the beauty in nature. My capacity for finding joy in the most ordinary events (watching a flower open， leaves turning red， a bird taking a bath) seems to deepen each time I live through great sorrow. Death makes life more precious； frustration makes success more fulfilling； failure makes the next accomplishment more meaningful.
In order to feel deeply it is necessary to feel everything. It is impossible to choose. You can' t really know how great is your sense of joy at a baby' s birth or your satisfaction at succeeding at a hard job unless you are also deeply aware of the anguish of separation and the pain of failure. It' s through the capacity to feel that we discover ourselves and others and explore the potential for a full， significant life.
This is an especially crucial issue for parents. Our natural inclination is to try to protect children from pain. We have the mistaken notion that if a child is happy we are doing a good job； if a child is sad we are failing as parents. But giving children the message that happiness is good and sadness is terrible decreases their capacity to explore the full range of human experiences.
Children need to understand that suffering， frustration and failure are not only inevitable but helpful. The parent who took a simple puzzle away from a four-year-old—because "he gets too upset and frustrated when he can' t get it right immediately"—did the child a great disservice. Children need to experience such feelings as they grow up； it helps them to develop the patience， persistence and ability to cope with what they' ll need when a scientific experiment fails， or a low grade is received after diligent study. There is nothing so terrible about failing and feeling pain； what hurts in the long run is not trying because of the fear of pain.
回顧我的一生，似乎那些讓我覺得最受傷的事情給了我最多的啟示。比如，母親的死讓我更深刻地感知了自然中的美麗。每一次我從極大的悲痛中掙紮出來，似乎我在最尋常的事物（賞花開、觀葉紅、看鳥浴）中發現歡樂的能力就會增強。死亡讓生命更加珍貴，挫折讓成功更加完美，而失敗也讓下一次的成功意義更加深刻。
要感受深刻，就需用心去感知一切。除此之外，別無選擇。除非你深深地理解分娩的疼痛，否則你不會真正領悟新生命誕生的極大喜悅；除非你深深地理解失敗的痛苦，否則你就不能真正地領悟完成艱巨任務後的滿足感。我們用這種感知的能力，去發現和探索自己和他人完整而意義重大的人生。