華盛頓·歐文/Washington Irving
華盛頓·歐文（Washington Irving,1783-1859），美國文學的奠基人之一，他所撰寫的遊記文學堪稱世界文壇的經典之作。歐文出身於美國一個富商家庭，遵從父命到霍夫曼的法律事務所學習，但做律師並非他真心所願，因為自幼飽讀書史的歐文對曆代傳聞軼事很感興趣，酷愛文學和旅行。在國外旅行的17年，他創造了大量的優秀作品，其中《見聞劄記》最為著名。這些傑作鑄造了他在美國文壇上的堅固地位，他被譽為“美國文學之父”。
My aunt was a lady of large frame, strong mind, and gread resolution. She was what might be termed a very manly woman. My uncle was a thin, puny little man, very meck and acquiescent, and no match for my aunt. It was observed that he dwindled and dwindled gradually away, from the day of his marriage. His wife’s powerful mind was too much for him;it wore him out. My aunt, however, took all possible care of him;had half the doctors in town to prescribe for him;made him take all their prescriptions, and dosed him with physic enough to cure a whole hospital. All was in vain. My uncle grew worse and worse the more dosing and nursing he underwent, until in the end he added another to the long list of matrimonial victims who have been killed with kindness.
“And was it his ghost that appeared, to her？”asked the inquisitive gentleman, who had questioned the former storyteller.
“You shall hear,”replied the narrator-My aunt took on mightily for the death of her poor dear husband. Perhaps she felt some compunction at having given him so much physic, and nursed him into the grave. At any rate, she did all that a widow could do to honor his memory. She spared no expense in either the quantity or quality of her mourning weeds;wore a miniature of him about her neck as large as a little sundial, and had a full-length portrait of him always hanging in her bedchamber. All the world extolled her conduct to the skies;and it was determined that a woman who behaved so well to the memory of one husband deserved soon to get another.
It was not long after this that she went to take up her residence in an old country seat in Derbyshire, which had long been in the care of merely a steward and housekeee. She took most of her servants with her, intending to make it her principal abode. The house stood in a lonely, wild part of the country, among the gray Derbyshire hills, with a murderer hanging in chains on a bleak height in full view.
The servants from town were half frightened out of their wits at the idea of living in such a dismal, pagan-looking place;especially when they got together in the servants’hall in the evening, and compared notes on all the hohgoblin stories picked up in the course of the day. They were afraid to venture alone about the gloomy, black-looking chambers My lady’s maid, who was troubled with nerves, declared she could never sleep alone in such a“gashly, rummaging old building;”and the footman, who was a kind-hearted young fellow, did all in his power to cheer her up.
My aunt was struck with the lonely appearance of the house. Before going to bed, therefore, she examined will the fastnesses of the doors and windows;locked up the plate withh her own hands, and carried the keys, together with a little box of money and jewels, to her own room;for she was a notable woman, and always saw to all things herself. Having put the keys under her pillow, and dismissed her maid, she sat by her toilet arranging her hair;for being, in spite of her grief for my uncle, rather a buxom widow, she was some what particular about her person. She sat for a little while looking at her face in the glass, first on one side, then on the other, as ladies are apt to do when they would ascertain whether they have been in good looks;for a roistering country squire of the neighborhood, with whom she had flirted when a girl, had called that day to welcome her to the country.
All of a sudden she thought she heard something move behind her. She looked hastily round, but there was nothing to be seen. Nothing but the grimly painted portrait of her poor dear man, hanging against the wall.
She gave a heavy sigh to his memory, as she was accustomed to do whenever she spoke of him in company, and then went on adjusting her nightdress, and thinking of the squire. Her sigh was reechoed, or answered, by a long, drawn breath. She looked round again, but no one was to be seen. She ascribed these sounds to the wind oozing through the rat holes of the old mansion, and proceeded leisurely to put her hair in papers, when, all at once, she thought she perceived one of the eyes of the portrait move.
“The back of her head being towards it！”said the storyteller with the ruined head,“good！”
“Yes, sir,”replied dryly the narrator,“her back being towards the portrait, but her eyes fixed on its reflection in the glass.”-Well, as I was saying, she perceived one of the eyes of the portrait move. So strange a circumstance, as you may well suppose, gave her a sudden shock. To assure herself of the fact, she put one hand to her forehead as if rubbing it;peeped through her fingers, and moved the candle with the other hand. The light of the taper gleamed on the eye, and was reflected from it.
She was sure it moved. Nay, more, if seemed to give her a wink, as she had sometimes known her husband to do when living It struck a momentary chill to her heart;for she was a lone woman, and felt herself fearfully situated.
The chill was but transient. My aunt, who was almost as resolute a personage as your uncle, sir[turning to the old story-teller]，became instantly calm and collected. She went on adjusting her dress. She even hummed an air, and did not make even a single false note. She casually overturned a dressing box;took a candle and picked up the articles one by one from the floor;pursued a roiling pincushion that was making the best of its way under the bed;then opened the door;looked for an instant into the corridor, as if in doubt whether to go;and then walked quietly out.
She hastened downstairs, ordered the servants to arm themselves with the weapons first at hand, placed herself at their head, and returned almost immediately.
Her hastily levied army presented a formidable force. The steward had a rusty blunderbuss, the coachman a loaded whip, the footman a pair of horse pistols, the cook a huge chopping knife, and the butler a bottle in each hand. My aunt led the van with a red-hot poker, and in my opinion she was the most formidable of the party. The waiting maid, who dreaded to stay alone in the servants’hall, brought up the rear, smelling to a broken bottle of volatile salts, and expressing her terror of the“ghostesses.”“Ghosts！”said my aunt resolutely.“I’ll singe their whiskers for them！”
They entered the chamber. All was still and undisturbed as when she had left it. They approached the portrait of my uncle.
“Pull down that picture！”cried my aunt. A heavy groan, and a sound like the chattering of teeth, issued from the portrait. The servants shrunk back;the maid uttered a faint shriek, and clung to the footman for support,
“Instantly！”added my aunt, with a stamp of the foot.
The picture was pulled down, and from a recess behind it, in which had formerly stood a clock, they hauled forth a round-shouldered, black-bearded varlet, with a knife as long as my arm, but trembling all over like an aspen leaf.
“Well, and who was he？No ghost, I suppose,”said the inquisitive gentleman.
“A knight of the post,”replied the narrator,“who had been smitten with the worth of the wealthy widow;or rather, a marauding Tarquin, who had stolen into her chamber to violate her purse, and rifle her strong box, when all the house should be asleep. In plain terms,”continued he,“the vagabond was a loose, idle fellow of the neighborhood, who had once been a servant in the house, and had been employed to assist in arranging it for the reception of its mistress, He confessed that he had contrived this hiding place for his nefarious purpose, and had borrowed an eye from the portrait by way of a reconnoitering hole.”
“And what did they do with him？Did they hang him？”resumed the questioner.
“Hang him！How could they？”exclaimed a beetlebrowed, barrister with a hawk’s nose.“The offense was not capital. No robbery, no assault had been committed. No forcible entry or breaking into the premises”.
“My aunt,”said the narrator,“was a woman of spirit, and apt to take the law in her own hands. She had her own notions of cleanliness also. She ordered the fellow to be drawn through the horsepond, to cleanse away all offenses, and then to be well rubbed down with an oaken towel.”
“And what became of him afterwards？”said the inquisitive gentleman.
“I do not exactly know. I believe he was sent on a voyage of improvement to Botany Bay.”
“And your aunt？”said the inquisitive gentleman.“I’ll warrant she took care to make her maid sleep in the room with her after that.”
“No, sir, she did better;she gave her hand shortly after to the roistering squire;for she used to observe that it was a dismal thing for a woman to sleep alone in the country.”
“She was right,”observed the inquisitive gentleman, nodding sagaciously;“but I am sorry they did not hang that fellow.”
It was agreed on all hands that the last narrator had brought his tale to the most satisfactory conclusion, though a country clergyman present regretted that the uncle and aunt, who figured in the different stories, had not been married together;they certainly would have been wall matched.
我的姨媽身材高大，意誌堅強，行事果斷。她也許就是所謂的有男子氣概的女人。而我的姨夫是個瘦弱的人，非常溫和，也非常溫順，和我的姨媽一點都不般配。自打他們結婚那天起，我們就眼見他越來越抽縮，他無法承受姨媽的種種強大的意願，他總感到疲憊不堪。而我的姨媽卻對他關懷備至，鎮上半數以上的醫生都被她請來給姨夫診斷，開方子。她讓他喝下醫藥方上列的所有的藥，那量都足夠給整個醫院的病人用了。可這些絲毫不起作用。我姨夫吃的藥越多，受到的照顧越精細，他的情況越惡化，最後還是死了，成了那一長串婚姻犧牲者名單中的一個——這些都是因為配偶的過分關心而死的。
“那他的魂來找她了嗎？”一個愛問先生問正在講述這個故事的人。
“你繼續往下聽啊！”講故事的人說，“我的姨媽為她可憐丈夫的離世難過不已，也許她不該給他吃那麽多藥。但她不不該因將他愛護進了墳墓而良心不安，她盡到了寡婦之道，使丈夫死後的名聲更榮耀。她不惜工本，縫製了質地最好的喪服，把一個小日晷那麽大的他的頭像掛在脖子上，還裱了一幅他的全身像，掛在自己的臥室裏。全世界的人都讚揚她的操守德行。他們認定，這樣一個好的女人如此悼念自己的亡夫，很快就會找到下一個如意郎君的。
不久，她就到德比郡的一個古老鄉村裏定居了，那裏長期住著一個男仆和一個管家。她幾乎把所有的仆人都帶了過去，打算把那裏作為自己的居所。這房子在村莊裏一個偏僻而孤寂的地方，位於德比郡那些灰暗的小山之間。從遠處看，人們能看到那吊著一個被鏈子捆著的殺人犯。
那些她從鎮上帶來的仆人聽說他們要搬到這個陰暗、詭異的地方，一半都嚇破了膽。尤其是晚上的時候，他們聚集在住的地方，互相交流白天聽到的那些鬼怪傳說，更是令人心驚肉跳。他們都害怕一個人待在那間陰森、黑暗的房間裏。我姨媽手下的一個神經質的女仆說她在這種“陰氣森森的房子”裏，是不可能入睡的。心地善良的馬夫總是竭盡所能地寬慰她，讓她開心。
這個偏僻而孤寂的房子也令我姨媽害怕。所以睡覺之前，她會檢查所有門窗是否關好，親手鎖好那些貴重的餐具，把鑰匙和一個裝有錢以及珠寶的小盒子一起帶到自己的房間。因為她名聲顯赫，而且又是個事必躬親的人。在她把鑰匙在枕頭下麵藏好之後，就把女仆人打發走，然後坐在梳妝前梳著頭發。盡管她正在為我的姨夫守喪，可作為一個頗有姿色的寡婦，多少要講究一些自己的儀容。她坐了一會兒，端祥著鏡中的自己，左看看，右看看，就像女人習慣性的那樣拿著鏡子端詳自己是不是好看。她年輕時喜歡過一個鄉紳，就住在這附近，那天還來拜訪她，對她的到來，他表示歡迎。
突然她聽到身後有什麽動靜，立馬扭頭去看，但除了那幅掛在牆上的、被畫得麵目恐怖的亡夫畫像，其他的什麽都沒有。
她重重地歎了口氣，以示哀悼。她已經習慣在人前這樣造作一下，然後又整理起了她的睡衣，繼續想著那個鄉紳。然而，她的歎息聲竟然有了回音，或者說是回應。她又環顧四周，但確定沒人。她以為這個聲音是風吹過這座老房子的老鼠洞時發出的，便又開始悠閑地擺弄起她的卷發。這時，她看到畫像裏有一隻眼睛動了。
“可是，她應該是後腦勺背對著那副畫的啊！”——另一個腦子有點問題的人對講故事的人說，“是呀！”
“是的，先生，”講述者冷冷地說，“她是背對著那幅畫像，但她的眼睛正盯著鏡子裏反射的畫像啊。這情況太詭異了，你們完全能想到，這讓她受到了多麽突然的驚嚇。為了確定自己沒看錯，她把手放到額頭上假裝按摩，然後透過手指縫往外瞧，並用另一隻手移動蠟燭，小小燭光竟在那隻眼睛上閃動。
她肯定那眼睛一定是動了，不僅如此，它好像還衝她眨眼，這動作就像她亡夫生前愛做的樣子。霎時間，她心裏泛起了一陣寒意，透徹心扉。因為這屋裏隻有她一個人，現在的處境對她來說十分可怕。
但這寒意並沒有持續多久。我的姨媽是一個像你叔叔一樣果斷的人，馬上就冷靜下來，恢複鎮定。她繼續整理睡衣，竟然還哼起了小曲，還沒有跑調。她不經意間打翻了一個梳妝匣，又拿起一支蠟燭，把那些小物件一個個從地板上撿起來，順勢追趕一個快速朝床下滾著的針插。然後，她把房門打開，向走廊看了一眼，然後，她悄悄地走了出去。
她趕忙下樓，命令仆人拿起手邊最近的武器把自己武裝起來，然後帶著一幫人，很快回到了她的房間。
她慌忙中組建的隊伍看上去很強大。男仆手裏有一隻大口徑的短程散彈槍，車夫握著一根鉛芯棍棒，馬夫拿的是一對馬槍，廚子拿著一把巨大的削皮器，而男管家一手拎一支瓶子。我的姨媽拿一把燒紅的鉗子打頭陣。在我看來，她是這群人中威力最大的一個。那個女仆，不敢在廳裏單獨待著，便跟在隊伍的屁股後麵，一麵對著一個破了的嗅鹽瓶子，一麵解釋說她害怕“女鬼”。“是男鬼，”我姨媽斬釘截鐵地說。“我要把他們的胡子都燎光。”
他們進了房間，一切都像她剛才離開時一樣，完好如初。他們慢慢地走近我姨夫的畫像。
“把那幅畫摘下來。”我的姨媽喊著。畫像那邊傳來了一陣沉重的呻吟，好像牙齒打顫的聲音。仆人們嚇得退到一邊。那女仆發出一聲尖叫，抓住馬夫以支撐住身體。
“馬上。”我的姨媽跺著腳，又命令道。
那幅畫被扯了下來，它後麵藏著一個通道，以前那裏放著一座鍾。他們從那裏拖出一個彎腰弓背，長著黑胡子的男人。那個人手裏拿著一把胳膊那麽長的刀，但身體抖得像一片楊樹葉子。
“他是誰？我猜一定不是鬼。”那個愛問先生說。
“是個欺騙、偷竊混飯的無賴，”講故事的人說，“他想霸占這個寡婦的錢財。簡單地說，他就是想搶劫。他偷偷溜到她的房間，想趁夜深時所有人睡了之後，去偷她的錢包和保險櫃。”他接著說，“那個人是附近的一個浪**子，整天吊兒郎當，無所事事。他以前在這裏做過仆人，被雇來幫著整理這個房間，為迎接新的女主人。他坦白說——他挖空心思，想到這個主意，藏到畫像後麵，從畫中人的眼睛部位偷窺。”
“他們怎麽處置他的呢？把他絞死了嗎？”愛問先生問。
“絞死他，怎麽可能？”一位眉毛濃密，長著鷹鉤鼻的律師說，“他的罪沒那麽重，他沒有搶劫，沒有殺人，沒有強行入室。”
“我的姨媽，”講故事的人說，“她是個非常有主意的女人，習慣按自己的意願使用法律，對於如何讓他改過自新她有自己的見解。她讓人把他放入馬池裏拖來拖去，說是要洗清他的罪孽，又用木棍將他痛打一頓。
“那後來他怎麽樣了？”愛問先生說。
“我不是特別清楚，我想，也許他被流放到澳大利亞的植物學灣接受改造了。”
“那你的姨媽呢？”愛問先生說，“我敢說，事後她一定讓那個女仆陪她睡一個房間。”
“不，先生，比這要好。”不久，她便與故事開頭提到的那個鄉紳結婚了，她逢人便說：“一個女人住在鄉下實在是太淒涼啦！”
“她說的對，”愛問先生一邊說，一邊點著頭，“但是真遺憾，他們沒有絞他死！”
毫無疑問，說故事的人後來給他的故事是一個最令人滿意的結尾，雖然一個鄉村教士有點遺憾，因為在另一個故事裏出現的的叔叔和姨媽都沒有結婚，而且他們非常般配。
詞匯筆記
matrimonial[,m?tr?'mon??l]adj.婚姻的，婚禮的
He and his wife have been experiencing matrimonial difficulties.
他和妻子婚姻不和。
compunction[k?m'p??k??n]n.內疚，後悔，懊悔
I would have broken my word without compunction.
我會毫無內疚地食言。
arrange[?'rend?]v.把……（係統地）分類；整理；改編（劇本等）；達成……的協議
She arranged an appointment for Friday afternoon at four-fifteen.
她在星期五下午4點15分安排了一次會麵。
pincushion['p?n, k???n]n.針墊
I've just found a new pincushion.
你就是我的新針墊。
小試身手
這個偏僻而孤寂的房子也令我姨媽害怕。
他們進了房間，一切都像她剛才離開時一樣，完好如初。
那女仆發出一聲尖叫，抓住馬夫以支撐住身體。
……they were afraid to venture alone about the gloomy……
be afraid to：害怕
……in spite of her grief for my uncle……
in spite of：雖然，盡管……；不顧；別看