As we sat down on the sofa， she remarked that she and her husband had recently returned from a trip to Africa.
“Africa！” I exclaimed. “How interesting！ I’ve always wanted to see Africa， but I never got there except for a twenty-four-hour stay once in Algiers. Tell me， did you visit the big-game country？ Yes？ How fortunate. I envy you. Do tell me about Africa.”
That kept her talking for forty-five minutes. She never again asked me where I had been or what I had seen. She didn’t want to hear me talk about my travels. All she wanted was an interested listener， so she could expand her ego and tell about where she had been.
Was she unusual？ No. Many people are like that.
For example， I met a distinguished botanist at a dinner party given by a New York book publisher. I had never talked with a botanist before， and I found him fascinating. I literally sat on the edge of my chair and listened while he spoke of exotic plants and experiments in developing new forms of plant life and indoor gardens (and even told me astonishing facts about the humble potato). I had a small indoor garden of my own—and he was good enough to tell me how to solve some of my problems.
As I said， we were at a dinner party. There must have been a dozen other guests， but I violated all the canons of courtesy， ignored everyone else， and talked for hours to the botanist.
Midnight came， I said good night to everyone and departed. The botanist then turned to our host and paid me several flattering compliments. I was “most stimulating.” I was this and I was that， and he ended by saying I was a “most interesting conversationalist.”
An interesting conversationalist？ Why， I had said hardly anything at all. I couldn’t have said anything if I had wanted to without changing the subject， for I didn’t know any more about botany than I knew about the anatomy of a penguin. But I had done this： I had listened intently. I had listened because I was genuinely interested. And he felt it. Naturally that pleased him. That kind of listening is one of the highest compliments we can pay anyone.
So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist， be an attentive listener. To be interesting， be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.
Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A boil on one’s neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
前段時間，我去參加了一次橋牌聚會。可我不會打橋牌，剛好有一位女士也不會打，我們便一起聊天。當她得知我曾在湯姆森先生從事廣播事業之前，為了幫助湯姆森準備一些有關旅行欄目的演講內容而特意到歐洲各地去旅行時，便對我說：“啊！卡耐基先生，您能不能把您遊覽過的名勝古跡或美景講給我聽呢？”
我們剛坐到沙發上，她便告訴我，她和她的丈夫前不久剛從非洲旅行回來。
我說：“非洲！那可是一個有趣的地方！我一直夢想著能到那片土地去看看，可我隻是在阿爾及爾待過24小時，便再沒有去過非洲其他地方。快給我講講吧，你真的去過那個偉大的國家嗎？是嗎？ 多麽幸運啊！我真是太羨慕你了！請告訴我一些有關非洲的情形吧！”
隨後，她繪聲繪色地講了整整45分鍾。她根本就沒再問我到過歐洲哪些地方和在異地的所見所聞。事實上，她根本不想聽我講旅行的事情，她唯一需要的不過是一個專注的傾聽者，好讓她借此機會講述自己曾經到過的地方。
在日常生活中，這位女士不同尋常嗎？不，很多人都是這樣的。
比如，在紐約一位出版商的晚宴上，我曾經遇到了一位聲名顯赫的植物學家。我以前從未與植物學家交談過，隻是覺得他有極強的個人魅力。我畢恭畢敬地坐在椅子上傾聽，他便滔滔不絕地介紹大麻，改良植物新品種的實驗，以及室內花園等（他還向我講述了許多有關廉價馬鈴薯的驚人事實）。我家裏也有一個小型的室內花園，他耐心而友好地替我解決了我所遇到的一些疑惑。
就像我所說的，我們是在宴會上，其他十幾位客人也一定在場。然而，我忽略了所有禮節上的規矩，把那些客人全部放在一邊，與這位植物學家談了幾個小時。
午夜時分，我向大家告辭後，便離開了。這位植物學家找到宴會主人，對我大加讚賞，他說我是“最富激勵性的人”，我有多好多好。 最後，還說我是個“最有趣的健談者”。
一個有趣的健談者？為什麽？我幾乎沒說什麽話。如果我不選擇改變話題的話，就算我想說，我也說不出什麽來，因為我對植物學方麵知識的了解少得可憐，就像對企鵝的解剖一樣一竅不通。然而，我做了這些事：我專注地傾聽對方講話。而我這樣做，是因為我真的對話題產生了興趣。他也感覺到這一點，而這一點顯然讓他很開心。專注地傾聽他人講話，就是對他人最好的尊敬。
所以，如果你想成為一個健談者，那麽就要做一個善於傾聽的人。如果你想使別人對你產生興趣，你首先要對別人產生興趣。提出一些他人喜歡回答的問題，激勵他們談自己，談他們的成就。
千萬不要忘記，對麵那個正在與你交談的人，對於他自身的需求，以及自身問題的關注程度，遠比對你的興趣高一百倍。一個人對脖子上一顆小痣的關注程度，要遠遠超過對非洲四十次地震的關注。下次你跟別人談話的時候想想這個，做一個好的聆聽者。激勵對方多談論自己。
心靈小語
很多時候，我們並不需要多少語言為我們排解，隻是需要一個聆聽者。我們的朋友也是如此。
記憶填空
1. That kept her talking__ forty-five minutes. She never again asked me__ I had been or__ I had seen. She didn’t want to__ me talk about my travels. All she wanted was an interested__ ， so she could expand her ego and tell about where she had been.
2.__ I said， we were at a dinner party. There must have been a dozen other__， but I violated all the canons of courtesy， ignored__ else， and talked for__ to the botanist.
3. To be interesting， be__. Ask questions that other persons will__ answering. Encourage them to talk about__ and their accomplishments.
佳句翻譯
1. 專注地傾聽他人講話，就是對他人最好的尊敬。
譯______________
2. 如果你想成為一個健談者，那麽就要做一個善於傾聽的人。
譯______________
3. 下次你跟別人談話的時候想想這個，做一個好的聆聽者。
譯______________
短語應用
1. ...but I never got there except for a twenty-four-hour stay once in Algiers.
except for：除了……以外；要不是由於
造______________
2. The botanist then turned to our host and paid me several flattering compliments.
turn to：轉向；求助於
造______________
讓教訓不要重複出現
A Lesson Is Repeated Until Learned
佚名 / Anonymous
Have you ever noticed that lessons tend to repeat themselves？ Does it seem as if you married or dated the same person several times in different bodies with different names？ Have you run into the same type of boss over and over again？ If you don’t deal well with authority figures at home， then you will have an opportunity to deal with them out in the world. You will continually draw into your life people who need to enforce authority， and you will struggle with them until you learn the lesson of obedience.